TMI Tuesday - 12/4

Sexual Fantasies

1. Do you think that acting out a fantasy can sometimes cause damage to a relationship?
I think it depends on the fantasy.  If L wants me to don a specifically styled blonde wig and answer to his ex-wife's name, it may have a completely different result than if his fantasy involves me donning a blonde wig and playing the part of a stranger impressed with his physique who wants to suck his cock.

2. Some couples role play their fantasies rather than introducing another person into the relationship to live out their fantasies. Do you think that this is an acceptable substitute?
We have brought in a third to our relationship before (or perhaps I was the third!), but we also role play from time to time.  For me, that only works if I take the role very seriously.  Certainly you feel a bit ridiculous - a woman my age dressed up as a school girl, for example, but if you really embrace the role it is quite fun and can be a very intense encounter.  L's very busy at work lately and doesn't have much blog-reading time.  So since I don't think he'll read this, I'm going to tell you all a secret.  I know L has a thing for redheads, so I recently bought a gorgeous wig.  Sure, my skin tone is just about as far from what a redhead would have as possible, but I'm sure when he has me bent over a bed, table or desk that won't matter.  I can't wait for the opportunity to wear it for him!  I was so pleased with it, that I've since purchased two more - one blonde and one brunette.  After all, variety is the spice of life!

3. Is there a particular movie or TV series or character from a movie or TV series that you fantasise about?
No - I never fantasize about TV or movie stars, characters or themes.  In fact, I don't give them any thought at all.

4. Apart from the obvious things like child abuse, are there some things that are ‘off limits’ for a fantasy e.g. incest fantasies, age play, rape fantasies. Why/ why not?
I haven't discussed many off limits fantasies with L, but there are some I'm interested in.  The primary one - which we have discussed a few times - is that I have a fantasy about being (play) raped.  Extreme?  Perhaps - and definitely not for everybody.  One should note that having a rape fantasy does not mean I want to be raped or condone the action of rape.  When one is raped, you are in a position where you are forced to do things against your will and all control has been removed from you.  I find that situation horribly demeaning and devastating and I wouldn't wish that on anybody.  A rape fantasy is different because I would be "raped" (consensual non-consent), but on my own terms and with control.  If I say stop, it stops.  I have a complete outfit of clothes that can be destroyed (pants have holes, shirt I no longer wear, etc.) that I have been saving for when that happens - I imagine them being ripped and cut from my body while I am being heavily restrained with his body.

5. What is the most taboo thing you have ever fantasised about doing?
See #4 - I'm pretty sure that's the worst I've come up with.  So far.

6. Tell us about a fantasy that you have that you don’t ever see yourself actually acting out. Why do
you think you will never act it out?
Again, see #4.  There are a couple reasons it has not happened.  Certainly time and place have been an issue so far. Also, L is a really, really, really nice man and I think that while the idea of being a completely rough barbarian with me appeals, it is very difficult for him to put it into practice.  The word "rape" freaks him a bit....every time I say "rape", he interjects with "play rape", not to mention he's afraid of hurting me and leaving marks.  We talk a lot about what we do, what we'd like to do, etc., so one day he may get there and feel comfortable in the role, but until then a fantasy it remains.  It may always be so and I can respect that, but I hold on to those old clothes and live in hope. ;)

7. Have you ever pretended the person you were having sex with was someone else without telling them?
Never, never, never.  When I'm having sex with someone, I'm always extremely focused on them and present with them.  For me, everything around becomes a blur.

8. Have you ever tried to make a fantasy a reality only to have it fail miserably? What happened?
I wouldn't say "failed miserably", but I have had elements of a fantasy acted out and found that the mental image did not match the resulting actions.  Not to say those actions weren't completely hot and fun, but they just weren't exactly as I imagined they would be.

Bonus: Tell us about your most cherished fantasy. Did you ever live it out? Please give us all the juicy details because that is the kind of people we are.
I don't harbour a huge number of fantasies, to be honest.  L has expanded my sexual horizons so widely that most of the things that I had considered fantasies are now part of our everyday repertoire of hot and fun times. Most of the things that remain as fantasies are best left as fantasies - they might be overly painful or impractical for our surroundings, require contortions no longer possible with our aging bodies, may pose a danger to one or both of us or just plain may not end up as hot as we imagine them to be. 


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